Ethereal 2: Alice and the Maritime

There’s a voice that rumbles beneath us
and after the end the voice still reaches us
Like a bird that cries in hunger
or a song that pleads for a different future.
Because all of us dream of a different future.
And somebody needs to listen.
To pause. To hold.
To inhale, and find the moment
before the exhale, when everything is in balance
and nothing moves.

(Neil Gaiman, After Silence,

a tribute for Rachel Carson)

The Port of Camaret, Eugene Bodin (1872)

Well, maybe I will never be married because I couldn't. I have a lot of dreams I want to achieve and it's not that I don't want to compromise but I don't know if I could afford it. I saw Arif Tukiman's face on the cover of Forbes Asia and for once today, that was the dream earlier this year.

The image of me standing on TechCrunch.

The image of me talking in World Economic Forum.

A door has opened - still unsure whether it will work or not, but I feel the rush for blood pumping again - the momentum. I couldn't just sit and wait.

The seduction of the challenge is really huge - I always love that. I don't know if love towards a guy and settling down (though I need this, I know) can actually beat this one.

It's acceptable of me to take the criticism today: that "It's hard to keep up with me". I take that today as a compliment and it's okay. I can understand when at the end of the road or on this road, it happens that I have to be there for myself, not waiting for anyone else. It's okay. 

(If people say things do not work out because of what we always miss to say, I am okay to accept that as a reason. All the hopes will be cherished by me - to know that there exist a part of me that can enjoy those hopes, feelings and emotions - to feel cared, protected and safe. I am okay to accept that there will be fork on this path. It's not giving up - it's accepting to let things just ... flow (away or towards, sometimes we are not to control). Thank you).

Maybe I am like Alice after that Rabbit hole; to just be bonkers and think of the impossible. Maritime (trade) excites me and this Earthy creature will go there.

InshaAllah. Allah will suffice me. 

You too.

Shafira.

Day 15 RMO for COVID-19.
OST Bicara Rasa on repeat since yesterday.